We publish the interview with Margaret Karram, president of the Focolare Movement, conducted by Peter Forst for Neue Stadt magazine on the theme that the Focolare Movement is exploring and living this year: closeness. This is not only a religious or spiritual attitude, but also a civil and social one, promoting peace and helping the poor, and improving the quality of relationships between people, respecting the freedom and conscience of others.

Margaret, why did you choose proximity as the theme of the year for the Focolare Movement?

I wondered what kind of world we live in, and it seems to me that at this moment in history, there's a lot of loneliness and indifference. There's also an escalation of violence, of wars that cause so much pain around the world. I also thought about technology, which has connected us in ways never before known, but at the same time makes us increasingly individualistic. In a world like this, I believe proximity can be an antidote; a help to overcome these obstacles and cure these "ills" that distance us from one another.

Where can we start?

I've been asking myself this question for months. It seems to me that we need to relearn how to approach people, relearn how to see and treat everyone as brothers and sisters. I felt that first and foremost I had to do some soul-searching about my attitude. Are the people I approach every day brothers to me, sisters to me? Or am I indifferent toward them, or even consider them enemies? I asked myself many questions. I've discovered that sometimes I want to avoid a person, because they might annoy me, make me uncomfortable, or want to talk to me about difficult situations. For all these reasons, I titled my reflection on closeness—which I presented in mid-November to the leaders of the Focolare Movement—this: "Who Are You to Me?"

Could you tell us some of the main ideas you have developed under this title?

With pleasure. I will mention four reflections. The first closeness our soul experiences is that of contact with God. It is He Himself who transmits Himself to our neighbors through us. The desire to love others is a movement from God in me that wants to move toward God in others.

A second reflection: proximity is dynamic. It demands total openness, that is, welcoming people without reservation; entering into their way of seeing things. We are not cookie-cutter! Each of us is unique, with a distinct character, mentality, culture, life, and history. Recognizing and respecting this requires us to step outside our own mental and personal frameworks.

You were talking about a third aspect…

Yes. The third aspect I want to emphasize is that proximity does not necessarily coincide with closeness, with being similar, with belonging to the same cultural horizon. The parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37) expresses this very well. I was struck by the Samaritan's attitude: the man who had fallen among the bandits was a person unknown to him, even from another town. He was a person distant both by culture and tradition. But the Samaritan became his neighbor. This is the key point for me. Everyone has their own dignity, beyond the town and culture they come from or their character. The Samaritan didn't approach just to see if this person was hurt and then walk away or in any case ask for help. He became his neighbor and cared for the person. The fourth aspect...

… I would be…

This means: allowing ourselves to be questioned, exposing ourselves to questions for which we have no answers; being willing to show ourselves vulnerable; perhaps presenting ourselves as weak and incapable. The effect of such an attitude can be surprising. Imagine, a nine-year-old boy wrote to me that for him, closeness means “lifting the heart of the other.” Isn't this a wonderful effect of closeness? Lifting the heart of the other… allowing ourselves to be wounded. For closeness to bear fruit, it asks each of us to be fearless and to allow ourselves to be wounded by the other.

What would change in the Focolare Movement if we lived proximity well?

If we truly live it well, many things will change. I wish, hope, and pray that this will happen. But I also want to emphasize that many in the Focolare Movement already live closeness. There are countless initiatives, many projects promoting peace and helping those in need. We have even opened focolares to provide assistance and shelter to immigrants or to care for nature.

And what should change?

The quality of relationships between people. Sometimes it's easier to treat people outside the Movement well, but it's more difficult among us who are part of the same family. We run the risk of living in "well-mannered" relationships: we don't hurt each other, but I wonder, is this an authentic relationship?

That's why I hope that, beyond projects, closeness becomes a daily lifestyle; that we ask ourselves several times a day: Am I living this closeness? How do I live it? An important expression of closeness is forgiveness. Being merciful to others and to ourselves.

What message does it contain for society?

Proximity is not only a religious or spiritual attitude, but also a civil and social one. It is possible to live it in any field. In the field of education, for example, or medicine, even in politics, where it is perhaps more difficult. If we live it well, we can have a positive influence on relationships wherever we are.

And for the Church?

The Church exists because with the coming of Jesus, God became our neighbor. The Church, the Churches, are therefore called to bear witness to a lived proximity. The Catholic Church recently held the Synod. I was able to participate in both sessions at the Vatican. There were more than 300 of us, each from a different culture. What did we do? An exercise in synodality, an exercise in listening, in deep understanding, in welcoming the thoughts of others, their challenges, and their pain. All of these are characteristics of proximity.

The title of the Synod was "Walking Together." This journey involved many people around the world. The Synod logo expressed the desire to expand the Church's tent so that no one feels excluded. It seems to me that this is the true meaning of proximity: that no one is excluded; that all feel welcomed, both those who attend the Church and those who do not recognize themselves there or those who have even distanced themselves for various reasons.

I'd like to briefly mention the limits of proximity. How can we live it well?

It's an important question. Are there limits to proximity? As a first response, I'd say there shouldn't be any limits.

But?

We can't be sure that what is closeness and solidarity for us, or for me, is what is closeness and solidarity for the other. In a relationship, we can never disrespect the freedom and conscience of the other. These two things are essential in any relationship. That's why it's important that when we approach someone, we always do so delicately and not as something imposed. It's the other person who decides how much and what kind of closeness they want.

There's a lot to learn, right?

Absolutely yes. We've made several mistakes. Thinking we loved others, we've hurt them. Through the desire to communicate our spirituality, we've built relationships in which others didn't always feel free. Sometimes it seems to me that, with the good intention of loving someone, we've crushed them. We haven't shown enough sensitivity and respect for others' consciences, their freedom, their time. And this has led to certain forms of paternalism and even abuse.

This is undoubtedly a very painful situation we are facing, and in it the victims have a unique, truly unique importance. Because alone we cannot fully understand what happened. It is the victims who help us understand the mistakes we made and take the necessary measures to ensure that these things never happen again.

One last wish?

I hope this topic can bring us back to the essence of what Jesus himself taught us in the Gospel. He gave us many examples of what it means to live in closeness.

There's a thought by Chiara Lubich that resonated strongly with me when I thought about this topic. She says: “There are those who do things 'out of love,' and there are those who do things trying to 'be Love.' Love dwells in God, and God is Love. But the Love that is God is light, and with light we see if our way of approaching and serving our brother is in conformity with the Heart of God, just as our brother would desire, as he would dream if we were not at his side, but Jesus.”

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Margaret, for your passion for proximity lived with determination and respect.

Peter Forst
(Published in the magazine New Town)
Photo: © Austin Im-CSC Audiovisivi