It seems obvious that we are made for relationships. In fact, our entire lives are intertwined with relationships. But sometimes we risk damaging them with harsh and superficial judgments.

Throughout history, we find many images that have become part of everyday language. For example, in ancient tradition, we find a well-known expression that says: "Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?"[1]; equally proverbial is the image of the two saddlebags: one in front of our eyes, with the defects of others, which we easily see, and the other on our back, with our defects, which we therefore find difficult to recognize.[2] And as the Chinese proverb says, "Man is blind to his own faults, but has eagle eyes for those of others."

This doesn't mean accepting what happens indiscriminately. In the face of injustice, violence, or abuse, we cannot turn a blind eye. We must commit to change, starting first and foremost by examining ourselves, sincerely listening to our own conscience to discover what we need to improve. Only then can we ask ourselves how to concretely help others, including through advice and correction.

What is needed is "another point of view" that offers me a perspective different from my own, enriching my "truth" and helping me avoid falling into self-referentiality and those errors of judgment that, deep down, are part of our human nature.

There is a word that may seem old, but it is enriched with ever new meanings: mercy, which we must live, first and foremost, toward ourselves and then toward others. In fact, only if we are able to accept and forgive our own limitations can we embrace the weaknesses and mistakes of others. Moreover, when we realize that we unconsciously feel superior and entitled to judge, it becomes essential to be willing to take "the first step" toward the other person to prevent the relationship from deteriorating.

Chiara Lubich tells a group of Muslims about her experience in the small house in Trento, where her adventure with her first companions began. Not everything was simple, and there was no shortage of misunderstandings: "It wasn't always easy to live the radical nature of love. […] Even between us and in our relationships, some dust could settle, and unity could languish. This happened, for example, when we noticed the flaws and imperfections of others and judged them, so that the flow of mutual love grew cold. To respond to this situation, we decided one day to make a pact between us, and we called it a "pact of mercy." We decided, every morning, to see anew every person we encountered—at home, in class, at work, etc.—without remembering their flaws at all, covering everything with love. […]"[3]. A true "method" worth putting into practice in work groups, in the family, and in meetings of any kind.

[1] (Luke 6:41)
[2] Aesop ((moioi) , Phaedrus (Fabulae)
[3] C. Lubich, "Love of One's Neighbor," Talk with a Group of Muslims, Castel Gandolfo, November 1, 2002. Cf. Reciprocal Love, Ciudad Nueva, Madrid, 2013, pp. 109-110